Happy Ho Ho Holidays, everyone.

December 22, 2008 7:07 PM

After this week's "excitement" (Corporate has asked me not to acknowledge the event publicly; thank heavens no one was filming you numbskulls in that situation), the Vice President of Human Relations, Alexander McGillicutty, has asked that I reiterate to you the official Buy More "don't be a hero" policy:

I) BRAVERY IS TO BE AVOIDED. Any and all situations which may require courage should be deferred to upper management. If the conditions for valor present themselves, call your manager (or assistant manager if not available). In their absence, cower in a corner and dial 911.

II) MITIGATE CONFLICT AT ALL COSTS.  In all cases not resulting in a financial loss for Buy More corporate, the customer is always right. Salespeople should avoid any contentious interaction with shoppers or any non-Buy More employee (editor's note: although it should be obvious, employees should also avoid conflict with other employees). If the customer says you are stupid, you are stupid. If the customer says you're ugly, you're ugly. Kindly avoid escalating these situations into something more urgent.

III) WHEN IN DOUBT: ALERT, DIVERT, IGNORE. Hear a noise the store after hours? See a suspicious customer? Step 1) Alert your manager (or assistant manager if not available). Step 2) Create a distraction and run to safety. 3) If you can't do (1) or (2), ignore the problem.
Maybe it will go away.

IV) YOUR SAFETY IS YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY. The Buy More Corporation, Buy More NA LLC, Federated Buy More Products and the International Buy More Holding Corporation hereby notify you that in any situation where you have not strictly adhered to this and any Buy More policies (if additional copies are necessary, volumes 1-17(a) may be requested from Buy More Corporate Publication Enterprises), you will be immediately and without notice suspended. Any loss or injuries suffered while on said suspension will be had at your own risk, with no responsibility assigned to Buy More or the Buy More family of companies. Please check your employment paperwork for further details.

The Shopping Season

December 3, 2008 7:53 PM

People --
The holiday shopping season starts at Thanksgiving every year. It doesn't move, and it's never going to get rescheduled. And yet somehow, every year, it seems like it takes you people by surprise. What kind of morons are you? For the umpteenth time (and I shouldn't have to remind you) the following rules are STILL IN EFFECT:

1) No baking cookies in the display ovens.

2) The Buy-More-issue holiday elf accoutrements should be worn IN ADDITION to your regular uniform, not instead of. Anna, please correct the situation. The Chamber of Commerce has filed several complaints.

3) Lester, I checked; there's no law on the California books saying I have to give you the standard employee bonus on eight consecutive nights. Please return the checks.

4) Jeff's request for "enhanced" eggnog: Denied.

5) Enough with the flocking flocking.

Now GET OUT THERE AND SELL STUFF!

Merry Holidays.
--Big Mike

What is the parking policy for Buy More employees?

October 27, 2008 8:39 PM

Here at Buy More, we treat all of our employees equally - which means it's on you to duke it with each other for a space in the parking lot. And don't come whining to me when your gas-guzzler's been towed from the Large Mart lot - as I've been known to say, "not my problem." One more thing - don't you dare park in my spot. NO, it's not about seniority - it's about medical necessity. I tore my ACL on a cruise to Alaska and if I can't pull my clean, mean hybrid machine into the clearly marked space in front of the building, I won't be the only one with bad knees around here.

Training Videos Update

October 6, 2008 1:50 PM

You people can stop harassing me about the training videos we took part in a couple weeks back. Apparently the first one's just about ready to go. The director has put something called a rough cut for our review so you can see for yourselves. I'm no film critic, but what this first one's got to do with employee health is beyond me. Maybe you people can figure it out. Anyways, I think Casey did a good job--as long as the kid doesn't sue us.

Film Crew Coming to Buy More

September 29, 2008 5:36 PM

Heads-up people: if you're halfway paying attention, you'll notice a video crew in the store next week. For some reason, corporate decided our store and staff would be great for the next round of employee education videos. They're covering topics like customer service, worth ethic, employee health, and more. Corp communications apparently hired a very high end industrial filmmaker to make these so get it together while they're here. I.E. PLEASE DON'T EMBARRASS ME OR YOUR STORE. Look sharp, do what you're told, and pay attention. Your sorry mugs may even make it into the final cuts, which will be posted online for the benefit of all Buy More employees.